Boy, No Boy, Boys
Aaah, so here we go again, the story of my life involving boys. Currently there’s no boy whatsoever whether long distance or around the corner that I even care to be with or even just use for sex lol. I guess I will take you, readers along on the journey of how I’ve finally reached this point.
So last year, September(ish) I was talking to this guy, he was long distance. On paper, from what I knew, he seemed rather swell nice. He was funny, smart, and more importantly respectful and sweet. Anyways, so I guess that was during the whole, “bullshit to get you to like me” phase, cause it certainly worked. Though since it was long distant, it was always understood that, we’d never be anything serious. To be honest I never wanted it to be serious. So right around December(ish), things suddenly changed. No more being nice and sweet or trying to impress me or make me in the slightest way happy. Instead I got the serious guy, only occasionally funny and shares very little with me.
Through this whole time, I was still content and willing to say this is a guy I still talk to. As the months went on, it was very obvious that he was not into me anymore. Could be because I’m pretty much an open book, and he probably decided that he doesn’t like me as much after getting to know me more. At least that’s how it is from my perspective. How do I know otherwise if he is unwilling to tell me how he feels about me? Anyways, there’s other obvious reasons why but I won’t get much into those reasons.
So I’m pretty much pulling the plug on any hope of us ever meeting. Which is most likely for the better. Ever since we’ve been talking, it’s pretty much been me saying that I want to visit him and not vice versa. Based on circumstances, I accepted it, but at least an acknowledgment of wishing he could see me would have been nice. And I’m always giving him compliments, not because I’m hoping for something in return, but because it’s true. I don’t even get compliments…which is weird…not even an adjective….or sign of appreciation for anything I do. And everything is a secret, he doesn’t even tell his friends about me or anyone that we’re talking. Ultimately, I never get this much lack of respect from a guy friend or “friend“. Anyways, we still talk but I no longer have any desire to care to meet. Things can always change, which I doubt will ever happen…I was probably just a fad.
Now that the summer has started, I’m actually getting a lot more propositions and getting noticed by guys a lot. One guy who is a student in the lab I’m in is really swell nice. He’s a hockey fan and even though I don’t like hockey, I really like guys that like sports. He works two jobs, one as a waiter and the other for the DNR. He’s kind of cute, he could be cuter but looks were never that important for me. I’ve had my fair share of gorgeous guys, but their personality sucked. However, I don’t know if he would ever be into me. He does spark a lot of conversation with me. Since I’m very socially awkward at times when meeting someone new, we’ve had a lot of awkward silence moments. Which is fine, cause I usually rebuttal with something geeky and random in which he responds with laughter. He also mentioned his ex-girlfriend twice. That she listened to country music and he hates country, and that he was going to hangout with his ex-girlfriend’s family for an event for his sister. All that seems innocent, but it’s weird kind of.
Another issue is that I think he’s shorter than me, which is fine cause he’s not THAT short. However, I hate that people would call us a weird, or unlikely couple cause he’s so short 
okay well I’m 5’6″ and he’s probably 5’55″ or something. He has very little visible muscles and he’s like a typical white guy. He hasn’t given any obvious signals that he thinks I’m cute. So we’ll see how this goes, but I typically lose interest fast in guys when I don’t think they like me.
New guy alert! So last Friday I went to the gym and it was rainy and my hair was down being blown in the wind like out of a magazine….so I think. Anyways, as I walk in this cute sexy dark chocolate guy with an awesome smile at the front desk stops talking to others and says, “hi”. Because that’s what they’re supposed to do is greet people as they enter the gym Anyways, so, we made eye contact when I said “hi” back to him and we made eye contact again cause as I passed him, I looked back at him 
Anyways, so when I left the gym, I wasn’t feeling entirely cute to be able to pass this guy with confidence. I mean, look at what I was wearing……..one, I don’t typically wear attention seeking tights, and two, my shorts were 2 sizes too big and three, my hair didn’t look nice. So when I did leave the gym, he again stopped to say “bye” to me. This time, I just glanced at him and said, “bye” as if I was busy and rushing off to some place important. This may all seem trivial and like nothing important, but I’m laying the groundwork for more interactions
So for right now there’s no boys, but that doesn’t mean I don’t possible options to pursue. It’s summer! My options are always plentiful 
Toodles, til next time!
